2022.01.24 10:59 flowabout 500 Days - I am the Mom my daughter will never know.
My daughter will never know her sober mom. Tomorrow she should be turning 12, but a terminal brain tumor stole her from us just before her 9th birthday.
I did not handle her sickness well. I had a complete nervous breakdown during her final weeks and after her passing. I was there for her but not how I should have been. I have struggled with substance abuse since my teens and I just spiraled. I can never make it up to her, it's my biggest regret.
But, today and everyday for the past 500 days, I honor her by being the mom she absolutely deserved to my youngest and only living child, she's almost 5 now. I am present. I am patient. I am affectionate. I am the mom I wish I had and should have been to my oldest.
I'm really proud of myself for pulling myself together, I'm proud of my husband too - he's 500 days sober with me and we have never been healthier or happier (which is a weird thing to say but it is a different type of happy). Our relationship is strong, we are good parents. Our daughter is happy, and thank goodness, healthy. She is a bright light in what would have been a dark world without her here. She is smart, she is funny and she's so beautiful. But she is a little sister who should have her big sister by her side, and though I can never replace that for her, I try to be everything she needs. I think I'm doing a good job.
Thanks for letting me share, and, if you're able, please don't drink today and tomorrow in memory of my sweet angel, Audrey.
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2022.01.24 10:59 RonnyFreedom Oi, mate. You got a loicense for that toaster?
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2022.01.24 10:59 Thekameshidude CorgOnTheCob - Yeah this game isn't about jumpscares...
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2022.01.24 10:59 fuckingscream Trazim perverzne prijatelje za drkanje. Incest, trans, rape i jos puno tog. Pogledat prijasnje objave na profilu za full listu kinkova. Po mogucnosti wickr, moze i discord ili kik. Javite se.
2022.01.24 10:59 MetaEsoTeric I want to tell her how I feel but I don’t know how
I started working at my current job a little over 2 years ago in late 2019. I had just dropped out of my final year of school because I was depressed and couldn’t handle the workload, so my mum helped get me a job at the restaurant she worked at. A few weeks later Gwen(not her actual name for anonymity) started working there too. I’m a little shy and antisocial so I never really talked with her much at first.
My city went into a 6 month lockdown after the first wave of covid and I was unable to work. After the break however, me and Gwen started having a lot of shifts together and we talked more often and started to get to know each other.
As it turns out she was from the city a lot of my family is from and so I go there a lot, and to make things even crazier my older brother’s father (we have different dads) was one of her old dance teachers.
So me and Gwen had become pretty good work friends at this point, we had inside jokes and liked to entertain each other when we were bored. We liked to make bets using our tip money, write notes and draw little doodles on our notepads. We had good fun together, well at least I did and she seemed to.
She was also good friends with my mum who was one of our shift supervisors which sounds like a bit of an odd dynamic but it wasn’t all that weird, me and my mum get along quite well.
Around late 2020 I started to realise I was developing a bit of a crush on her. Gwen’s not my usual type, usually I like girls who are kind of emo and like to take drugs like I do but Gwen was almost the opposite of that. She doesn’t do drugs, was really pure of heart and innocent and was like the “girl next door” type.
She just made me really happy all the time, whenever we talked I had butterflies, when I heard her laughing or see her smiling I smiled. Whenever I could I’d try and find an excuse to interact with her, if she went to the kitchen I’d find a reason to go to the kitchen, if I was serving drinks and I knew she was outside I would prioritise taking drinks outside first.
I wanted to spend all my time with her, if I knew she was working on a day I was, I’d be genuinely excited to go to work.
I have dependency issues with drugs and so emotionally I can be pretty unstable, I’ve struggled with depression from time to time but whenever Gwen was around I felt like I was on clouds. It felt like I didn’t need to take drugs and that I deserved to be happy and I could live a normal life some day. She made me want to be better.
As the months went by, my feelings for her grew. It felt as though she might like me as well and there was some romantic tension between us, I hate to sound cheesy but it felt like something out of a movie to me. My mum actually asked me one night if there was anything going on with us but I said we were just friends.
Me, Gwen, my mum and some of the other people we worked with used to have knock off drinks together and we grew even closer.
One of the guys at work said he was 100% sure she liked me but still I couldn’t muster the strength to tell her how I felt.
I’m not boyfriend material at all, I have a substance abuse problem, I have no money, poor mental health, poor self hygiene, no ambition, I’m afraid of commitment, I’ve never been in a relationship and I think I may be asexual (still figuring that out haha).
I just don’t want to make my problems her problem too.
Also, because she’s basically a family friend and we work together if I were to confess I’d be putting both of us in an awkward position if she didn’t feel the same way.
After yet another 6 month lockdown she had decided to move back home because she missed her family and the covid situation here started to affect her mental health same as most people.
We still keep in touch and I’m happy for her and her decision but sometimes I just miss working with her and hanging out after work.
I thought her moving away would put her off my mind but it’s like whenever I feel overwhelmed with life I start to think about her because nothing else has made me feel as positive as she did.
I think I’ll be going over to visit family sometime in March and since she’s friends with my mum as well as me, we’ll probably meet up with her while we’re there which will be nice.
Still though, I desperately want to tell her how much I miss her and how much I appreciated her being in my life.
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2022.01.24 10:59 PsilocybinAlpha Beckley Psytech Announces First Cohort of Psychotherapists Have Begun Training for Treatment Resistant Depression Phase 2 Trials
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2022.01.24 10:59 _laannaa_ Love that scene💙
2022.01.24 10:59 TinTheCat panik
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2022.01.24 10:59 Educational-Mark3745 Ukrayna ve Avrupa Sorunu
Bildiğiniz üzere SCBB dağıldığından beri Rusya'nın Ukrayna ile bir problemi bir hususu vardı. Bu husus git 2014 iyice patlak verdi ve kırım ilhak etti ve 7 yıldır suren bir çatışma var ve tekrardan aşırı derecede alevlendi bu çatışma. Rusya Ukrayna'yı yemesine az kaldı diyebiliriz sayılı günler hatta saatler kaldı. Rusya merkez bankası şuan döviz alım satımı sınırsız süre olarak durdurduğunu açıkladı ve sınıra yüzlerce seyyar köprü getirildi ve en az 120 bin asker olduğu düşünülüyor. Ukrayna tarafında AB'den 1.2 milyar Euro para desteği, Polonya askeri antlaşmalar, Polonya, Ukrayna, İngiltere 3'lü ittifak kurduğunu açıkladı. Kısaca dostlarım Avrupa bir bunalım içerisine girecek bu Rusya yüzünden. Yorumlarınızı Bekliyorum
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2022.01.24 10:59 Lord-Foul I don't know how this has not gone viral. The man is a treasure. My apologies if this is a repost.
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2022.01.24 10:59 darshil__25 Logo and Banner Making
I am finding a person who can make a logo and banner for my e-commerce website.
Description:- Name of Company is Thummar Organic. You can add slogans like "Eat Healthy Stay Wealthy" type. Website is selling organic food products like ghee and honey. It would be nice if you add these items in logo for making it professional and good looking.
(I also like 3D Logo)
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2022.01.24 10:59 Iceinrice Hejo, jestem tutaj nowa, a to szybki arcik dla Elka :)))
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2022.01.24 10:59 Background_Face_7534 Weird experience Coke
So i’v tried both shit and pretty decent batches, the best knocking me almost out from a 0,4 Line and stuff that barely Even had any effect.
Recently i tried some which according to friends was the shit. When crushed it was almost like small crystals with obv some filler (as it always is). With a Tiny Line it almost made me throw up, and i felt some kind of buss, but nowhere near the best iv tried. It smelt like straight gasoline, the worst iv ever tried. I gluped at every line. Nothing like iv tasted before. My throut swelled up bladly aswell
Is this an indicator that it was pure?
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2022.01.24 10:59 turb0geek421 I don't want to work 120 days a week!
2022.01.24 10:59 dreamaboutdeath Queen's Gambit
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2022.01.24 10:59 NewsElfForEnterprise To Repair Democracy, Teach Empathic Listening as a Civic Skill | Opinion
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2022.01.24 10:59 NeurodivergentMoomin No Dolores dolls?
Aight so ik they make figurines of the characters but I have been shopping lately and noticed they don't make dolls (big or mini) of Dolores
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2022.01.24 10:59 lokolovestacos Exit Strategy from Bedside
Are you going to stay bedside? Dope. I love it I support you and wish you amazing ratios and calm patients.
Are you leaving bedside? Tell me what you're doing, how you got the job, what's safe, what's not.
Been a nurse for almost 5 years bedside and I'm not down to keep doing it during the pandemic. Everything in Healthcare is worse now. And there are so many amazing new nurses out there who are going to this being treated this way is acceptable. I need out.
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2022.01.24 10:59 wuqijian Top Hit CHINESE Songs 最HIT华语歌 (Mandopop) | Hi guys, wanna introduce to you all the current trending Chinese music, hope you enjoy it | Follow and enjoy!
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2022.01.24 10:59 appleJimmies Reddit, meet Neeko, the newest edition to our family!
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2022.01.24 10:59 yyy12321 Making Friends with My Arm is the best quest so far
2022.01.24 10:59 DyneDenethor Silly Hats 306: These Little Piggies
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2022.01.24 10:59 gotkub0456 Recreational use is allowed after 25th
It’s mentioned and said by the health ministry that recreational use is allowed in sandbox areas ( allowed areas )
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2022.01.24 10:59 bobatea_001 Found a replacement tenant and they’re about to sign lease agreement, when am I not liable anymore ?
The agency said I’m still liable until they pay their rent before moving in, however I believe that as long as they signed the contract the liability has already moved to them. Legally, what are the implications and am I right or wrong ? They won’t send my lease surrender form until they pay.
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